Wednesday, July 04, 2007
4th.
It's the Fourth of July. In this modern world, the holiday simply commemorates hots dogs, grills, fireworks, and colors, and a reason for people to get together and do this things, like drink.
To me, it's always been a paradox of a holiday. To be a Black American in this country, there seems to be a tacit understanding that you must lie to yourself about yourself. Technically, on this day, in 1776 the free world as we know it came into existance. Yet the reality of the situation lies in the fact that slavey continued to exist, my people were not free, and my history shares no part of that 'independence'.
Maybe it is my responsibility to acknowledge my heritage as that of an American. Detest it as I may, I'm an American girl. I have a wordly nature and interests but grew up as American. Barney, Sesame Street, Disney, FUBU, Spike Lee flicks, Word Up Mag, Hip-Hop as a whole, all things I've ever loved, all things that were birthed out of this culture.
At the same time I look and see a country that has never loved me, that has never really wanted me here. A country with systems and tests in place that do not work to my benefit. A country that as a woman has abhorred my existance.
I'm not mad. It is too late to be mad. I'm not complacent. It's too early to be complacent. But after 20 of these things, I feel the same way: out of place in my own home.
Maybe a few fireworks can brighten my perspective.
-M.
Labels: Fourth Of July
11:27 AM
